In your mind, asking for a divorce is easy enough. But when it finally comes time to talk to your spouse, you’re sure to have reservations and quite a bit of anxiety.
As one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have, you don’t want to jump into this conversation without preparation. Knowing what to say and how to react will go a long way in helping you move through the conversation in an efficient and respectful manner.
Here are three mistakes to avoid when asking for a divorce:
- Choosing the wrong time and place: There’s a right time and place to ask for a divorce. For instance, schedule time for the two of you to talk after your children are in bed. This gives you the time and space you need to have a serious conversation. Don’t blurt out your intentions to file for divorce while you’re at the dinner table or driving your children to school.
- Talking about the details: This is where many people get into trouble. You tell your spouse you want a divorce and then immediately move into a discussion about what this means to your future. For example, you begin to talk about who will get the family home, who will have custody of the children and what will happen to your retirement accounts. All of these details, among others, have the potential to cause a serious divide during an already difficult time.
- Putting your children in the middle: This is the last thing you want to do. The divorce process will be difficult enough on them. Showing a united front will help calm your children. Conversely, if you or your ex uses your children as pawns, it will take a toll on them.
There’s nothing easy about asking your spouse for a divorce, but there are steps you can take to share your feelings in a manner that will put you on the right track.
Once you have the first conversation out of the way, you can turn your attention to the divorce process, your legal rights and what you want out of your future.