When you decided it was time to end your marriage, you were more than ready to be done. You couldn’t wait to file those papers.
Why, then, are you so stressed out? When your heart is telling you that you’re doing the right thing and your head is telling you that you should be happy, it’s disconcerting to have your stomach twisted in knots with anxiety.
Divorce means change, and change means stress
If you’re interested in exactly how serious your stress level may be, you can check out the score you tally up on the “Divorce-Stress Scale” developed by psychologists. It can also tell you how likely you are to experience adverse health-related consequences from that stress.
Mostly, people get stressed about a divorce because they have a lot of decisions to make very suddenly while reimagining a whole new future for themselves without their spouse. Plus, they may have financial changes that are hard to handle and fallout in their personal relationships with their children, extended family members and social circle.
Coping with divorce stress takes a concentrated effort
Psychologists say that there are some good ways to manage the stress you’re feeling.
First: Ask for help. Find a good therapist to help you work through your feelings. Retain an experienced divorce attorney to help you better understand the divorce process and what you can expect in your case.
Second: Take things one at a time. Don’t try to borrow trouble by imagining scenarios that may never come to pass. Accept that you may make mistakes, and that’s okay. Realize that you can only do your best, no matter what the situation.
Finally, find ways to distract yourself from your divorce process and troubles. Work some exercise into your daily routine, find a creative outlet, take up a new hobby and reconnect with old friends. This will help you move past the immediate problems and move on.
Your divorce will get easier with time — just make sure you have experienced legal guidance as you go.