If you are one of the couples that put a brave face on things and stayed together for the benefit of your children, the day your last child moves out can come as a relief. Finally, you can end your marriage without worrying about harming your kids. Or at least that is the theory. The truth may be a little different.
Some children move out and become completely independent. Yet being a young adult in today’s world is tough. College is expensive, house prices are through the roof, and despite all those friends on social media, the world can be a lonely place. Sometimes, what kids of all ages need more than anything is to count on mom and dad.
Adult children rely on parents for many things
Here are a few things to consider if you are about to get a gray divorce — the term used when people divorce once the children have moved out:
- Will there be space if your child needs to move back in temporarily? While there was a sharp rise in young adults moving back home last year, it has been steadily rising since the 1960s. While the family home has plenty of room, if you each move to a one-bedroom flat, you may not.
- Have you put aside enough to pay for education? Ringfencing this money before you divide your property reduces the chance of arguments later.
- Can your children still ask you both for advice without one of you getting upset? Your kids need to feel free to talk to both of you about things.
- How will grandparenting work? It is not only your children you need to think about but your grandchildren. A small child may struggle to understand why they cannot invite both granny and grandad to their birthday.
Staying together for so long to raise your children may not have been easy. Yet, if you can work together a little longer, it will allow you to process your divorce in a way that enables you to continue to be there for your children when they need you.